Clean Humor

Family-friendly jokes and content

33 posts

Italian Police Launch Full Scale Military Operation to Catch a Single Tiny Thief

In the picturesque Italian city of Como, known primarily for its stunning lake and George Clooney sightings, the local authorities recently decided to ...

Local Criminal Forgets How Stealing Works in Most Impressive Display of Stupidity Yet

There is a certain level of logical thinking required to be a successful criminal. Usually, this involves a basic understanding of cause and effect. I ...

Illinois Finally Tackles the Big Issues by Naming the Italian Beef the Official State Sandwich

In a world where politicians usually spend their time arguing about budgets, infrastructure, or whose turn it is to buy the office donuts, the Illinoi ...

LAPD Officer Proves Disability Leave Is No Obstacle to Jumping Out of a Plane

We have all been there. You wake up with a "crick" in your neck so severe that the mere thought of sitting at a desk feels like a human rights violati ...

New Study Confirms Your Great-Great-Grandmother Had a Major Thing for Neanderthals

It turns out that your family tree might be a little more "heavy browed" than you previously suspected. A new scientific study suggests that when it c ...

East India Company Fails for Second Time in 400 Years Proving Not Even Global Tyranny Can Survive the Economy

It takes a special kind of talent to fail at the same job twice, especially when those failures are separated by a cool 167 years. The East India Comp ...

Washington State Licensing Hotline Accidentally Invented a New Language Instead of Using Spanish

Welcome to Washington state, where the coffee is strong, the rain is persistent, and the Department of Licensing has apparently decided that "Spanish" ...

Chris Hansen Tells Roblox Creditors to Have a Seat in the Metaverse

Lock up your blocky avatars and hide your digital pizza, because Chris Hansen is officially entering the Metaverse. In a crossover event that absolute ...

7 Signs You’ve Officially Become the Human Version of a Terms and Conditions Page

Have you ever had one of those moments where you realize you are essentially a ghost in your own home? Not the spooky, haunting-the-attic kind of ghos ...

The Competitive Vegetable Garden

The local fencing club had to disband after the coach realized they weren't actually training athletes...

The Asparagus Career Path

I tried to get a job at the vegetable warehouse, but they let me go because I couldn't keep my stalks in line.

3 AM at the Diner: A Guide to Having a Full Existential Crisis Over Side-Order Hash Browns

There is a specific brand of silence that only exists in a 2:00 AM diner. It’s a thick, syrupy quiet, occasionally punctuated by the sound of a dist ...