Waterskiing Is Off the Table
I told my friends I couldn't go waterskiing this weekend.
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Joke of the Day
November 8, 2026
Iceberg Lettuce Technicality
My dad doesn't eat vegetables, so he put my lettuce in the freezer and said, 'Well, it's iceberg.'
Now I have a salad that can sink a ship and a father with a legally defensible position.
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The Time Capsule Under the Floorboards
We found a time capsule under our new floors with a note: 'Dear future homeowner, we hope the world has solved its problems.'
Local Dad Declares Lettuce 'Iceberg' Means Freezer, Calls It Science
A household was thrown into chaos this week when a father who has not knowingly eaten a vegetable since the Clinton administration discovered a head of lettuce in the fridge and made an executive decision: it belonged in the freezer. His reasoning, delivered with the calm of a man who has never lost an argument in his own mind, was simple. "It's iceberg l…
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Golden Retriever Having a Full Blown Existential Crisis Is Every Single One of Us Right Now
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Iceberg Lettuce Technicality
My dad doesn't eat vegetables, so he put my lettuce in the freezer and said, 'Well, it's iceberg.'
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My brother and I settled the last-cookie dispute fairly: one cuts, the other chooses.
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The fancy restaurant served me one scallop on a plate the size of a hubcap, so I felt bad for it and asked for a second to keep it company.
Local Man Discovers Single Banana Has Developed Luxury Lifestyle, Personal Brand
Dennis Pruitt walked into the Fairmeadow Market on Tuesday expecting a quick, dignified errand: one banana, for a snack, to eat in a car. He walked out forty minutes later holding a receipt the length of a bedsheet and a new respect for tropical fruit. It started innocently. Dennis spotted a lone banana in a basket near the register, glowing under a tiny…
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