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New Password Must Include Your Childhood Dreams

New Password Must Include Your Childhood Dreams

Joke of the Day November 12, 2026

The Close-Door Button Is Just a Placebo With Ambition

I've pressed the elevator's close-door button about four thousand times in my life.

It has never once worked, but it's the only part of my day where I feel like I'm in charge.

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Ice Cube Tray Diplomacy

In my house, nobody refills the ice cube tray. They just put it back in the freezer with one cube in it, like a participation trophy.

Sky Jellyfish Ruins Perfect Rainbow Photo, Leaves Before Anyone Can Complain to Manager

Marjorie Pettibone had one goal on Tuesday evening: take a photograph of a rainbow so beautiful that her sister-in-law would finally stop posting sunsets. She had the angle. She had the light. She had a thermos of cocoa balanced on the car hood like a professional. What she did not have was a clear shot, because something small and dark kept wobbling into…

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The Close-Door Button Is Just a Placebo With Ambition

I've pressed the elevator's close-door button about four thousand times in my life.

The Haircut I Described Was Not the Haircut I Got

I showed my barber a photo of the haircut I wanted.

Local Man Cleverly Disguises Rejection by Dog as Elaborate Remote Control Search

A man in a modest living room achieved a new personal best in emotional damage control Tuesday evening, when his dog declined a paw-hold and the man responded by launching into the most convincing remote-control reach in the history of couch-based deception. "I wasn't hurt," said the man, to nobody, while holding a remote he had not wanted since 2019. "I…

The Hamster Is Billing for Mileage

My hamster ran eight miles on his wheel last night.

Game break · Free to play

Tic Tac Toe

Tic Tac Toe gameplay preview

X marks your next brain break.

Outthink the AI in a best-of-five showdown of Xs and Os.

Play Tic Tac Toe

Mild Is a Dare in Disguise

The menu said the hot sauce was 'medium,' so I ordered it with confidence.

Local Politician Solves Doctor Shortage Using Phone That Has Never Worked in This Town

Residents of the sleepy town of Little Wumble gathered yesterday to witness what historians are already calling "the most confident phone call ever made to absolutely nobody." It began when a representative strode into the town square with the posture of a man who has been told he has great hair and believed it. "Citizen!" he boomed at a startled local ho…

Smart Fridge, Dumb Timing

My new smart fridge sent me an alert at 2 a.m. saying the door was open.

Umbrella Math

I own six umbrellas, and every time it rains, all six are at someone else's house.

Pasta Sauce Prophecy

I wore a white shirt to a spaghetti dinner out of pure optimism.

The Parrot Learned the Microwave

My parrot has perfected the microwave beep so well that I now wander into the kitchen at 2 a.m.

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