Chuckles
Member since March 2026
Posts by Chuckles
Local Politician Solves Doctor Shortage Using Phone That Has Never Worked in This Town
Residents of the sleepy town of Little Wumble gathered yesterday to witness what historians are already calling "the most confident phone call ever made to absolutely nobody." It began when a representative strode into the town square with the posture of a man who has been told he has great hair and believed it. "Citizen!" he boomed at a startled local ho…
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Tom, Please Stop Texting the Weather Guy
My uncle Tom emails the local meteorologist every time it rains and says, 'You said sunny.'
Chicago Crowd Politely Asks Giant Bean to Scooch Over Seven Inches
Witnesses say it started the way all great civic movements start: with one guy squinting at a enormous metal legume and saying, "Something about that feels off." Within minutes, a crowd had gathered around the shiny sculpture, united by a single dream. They wanted the Bean moved seven inches to the left. Not six. Not eight. Seven. When asked why, a man in…
The Dog Has Terms and Conditions
My dog stands calmly on a leash through traffic, thunder, and a parade.
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Local Dad Declares Lettuce 'Iceberg' Means Freezer, Calls It Science
A household was thrown into chaos this week when a father who has not knowingly eaten a vegetable since the Clinton administration discovered a head of lettuce in the fridge and made an executive decision: it belonged in the freezer. His reasoning, delivered with the calm of a man who has never lost an argument in his own mind, was simple. "It's iceberg l…
Iceberg Lettuce Technicality
My dad doesn't eat vegetables, so he put my lettuce in the freezer and said, 'Well, it's iceberg.'
