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Local Man Discovers Being 6 Foot 5 Does Not Make His Racism Any Shorter or Less Stupid
In the grand, illustrious history of bad ideas, there is a special, velvet-lined trophy room for people who believe that being tall is a substitute fo ...
The Cruelest Birthday Candles
When you're a kid, blowing out birthday candles is the most exciting moment of the year. You close your eyes, make a wish, and feel like magic is real. When you're in your forties, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and...
Apple Review: I Just Bit into a Crisp Red Sphere of Wet Sawdust and Sadness
We have all been there. You are strolling through the produce aisle, feeling like a beacon of health because you bypassed the neon orange cheese puffs ...
The Laptop's Favorite Season
My laptop told me it was really looking forward to autumn this year. I asked why, and it said it had been waiting all year for the perfect opportunity.
The Betrayal of Muscle Memory
When you're young, your body just does things automatically, catch a falling object, jump over a puddle, sprint for the bus. It's incredible. Then somewhere around your late thirties, your body starts sending those same signals... but adds a tiny disclaimer at the end.
The Rickroll Collection
Rick Astley: Do you have any Pixar movies I can borrow? Me: You can have Cars, Toy Story & Ratatouille,
10 Signs Your Oldie But Goodie Is Actually Just Hazardous Waste
We have all heard the phrase oldie but goodie used to describe everything from a crusty cassette tape of 1980s power ballads to that one specific pair ...
Buffering Blues
How I feel when watching youtube... I dont mind the buffer ... I dont mind the adds...
The Overworked Clock
The office clock kept staying late, missing lunch, and skipping breaks. HR finally called it in for a meeting and asked why it was so stressed. The clock sighed and said it was completely overwhelmed.
