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The Cat Owner's Guide
Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles?
Fossil Fuel Giant Secures $370 Million Tax Break by Claiming Natural Gas Is a Trendy Alternative Fuel
In a world where words no longer have meaning and gravity is just a suggestion made by nerds in lab coats, a massive fossil fuel corporation has manag...
Scientific Undergarments
What brand of underwear do scientists wear?
7 Stupid Questions That Prove Your Middle School Guidance Counselor Was A Liar
We have all heard the motivational posters hanging in middle school hallways. You know the ones: a majestic eagle soaring over a mountain range with a...
The High Stakes Laundry Negotiation
My wife asked why I was standing in the laundry room staring intensely at my favorite sweater for ten minutes without moving.
A Terminal Case of Confusion
I hate traveling. My wife asked me to book a flight that was 'truly unforgettable.' I managed to find a ticket with a twelve-hour layover in a tiny airport that only has one vending machine and a broken rocking chair.
Botox and humps: 20 camels disqualified from beauty pageant for cosmetic surgery scandal
Forget the influencers on Instagram filters or the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The true drama of the cosmetic surgery world has officially moved...
A Bird's Day in Court
Where do you find a murder of crows?
A Split Decision
My friend who lost the entire left side of his body just won a prestigious award for his positive attitude and incredible recovery. At the ceremony, they asked him if he ever felt like giving up during the long physical therapy sessions.