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A Soup-erior Correction

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup?

Man Moves to Hawaii Just to Rub It in While You Fight Your Thermostat to the Death

In a world where most of us consider a trip to the local grocery store a high-stakes adventure, Kameron Johnson has officially upped the ante by reloc ...

The Antique Enthusiast

My friend asked me if I felt like I was getting older, so I told him I’m starting to feel like a rare, historical artifact.

Tech Support Nightmare

My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says "Your password is incorrect", I type in: "incorrect"

The Overachieving Amphibian

Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

The Grammar Police Investigation

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Passive voice. Passive voice who?

Quantum Quacks

Two ducks are arguing in a bar about quantum physics... One turns to the other and says, 'Quark Quark'

The Quality Control Husband

My main job as a husband is to taste things that my wife thinks taste like they've gone bad

Gravity 1, Ego 0: This Viral Stunt Is a Masterclass in Instant Regret

We have all been there. You are feeling a little too confident, the adrenaline is pumping, and your brain has temporarily vacated the premises to make ...

Swiss Positivity

So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland.

Science Reaches Breakthrough Discovery That Everything You Love Is Slowly Killing You

Science used to be cool. We used to get the moon landing, neon-colored Gatorade, and those little dinosaur sponges that grow in water. But lately, sci ...

The Digital Age Paradox

My smartphone is so incredibly advanced that it can translate ancient Greek in real-time and map the entire observable universe. Yet, the moment I walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water, it loses the Wi-Fi signal and acts like we've traveled back to 1994.

A Long-Winded Problem

Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long?

Bright Smiles

I like my girlfriend's new glow-in-the-dark braces...

The Silent Plumber

What did the cold pipe say to the hot pipe?

Elevator Comedy

Why do I tell jokes in elevators?