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The Parrot Learned the Microwave
My parrot has perfected the microwave beep so well that I now wander into the kitchen at 2 a.m.
Crossword
A little clue. A big aha!
Crack clever comedy clues, one square at a time.
Play CrosswordOne Percent Battery Changes a Person
The moment my phone hits one percent, I become someone who would knock on a stranger's door.
Tom, Please Stop Texting the Weather Guy
My uncle Tom emails the local meteorologist every time it rains and says, 'You said sunny.'
The Dog Has Terms and Conditions
My dog stands calmly on a leash through traffic, thunder, and a parade.
The Time Capsule Under the Floorboards
We found a time capsule under our new floors with a note: 'Dear future homeowner, we hope the world has solved its problems.'
Iceberg Lettuce Technicality
My dad doesn't eat vegetables, so he put my lettuce in the freezer and said, 'Well, it's iceberg.'
The Group Chat Reply Window
I typed a thoughtful response to the group chat, then watched six people discuss something else entirely for forty minutes.
Parallel Parking Personal Best
After fourteen minutes of parallel parking, I finally got the car into the space.
Poker
Keep your cards. Lose your frown.
Five-card draw, just for fun. Hold, draw and enjoy the hand.
Play PokerThe Lonely Scallop
The fancy restaurant served me one scallop on a plate the size of a hubcap, so I felt bad for it and asked for a second to keep it company.
Campaign Season at Home
My five-year-old is running for family president. Her platform is dessert first and optional bedtime.
My Laptop Has Seen Things
I finally opened my old laptop to clean it up and found 4,000 screenshots, 37 tabs of recipes, and one folder named 'Misc Final FINAL.'
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