Local Man Joins Search Party, Becomes Its Most Wanted Member

A LaughParty comic take.

LaughParty Comic Fiction: Everything below is made up. No real people, towns, or flashlights were harmed in the making of this story.

The sleepy town of Puddleford Junction sprang into action Tuesday evening when word spread that Dale Wimbersnoot had vanished during the Puddleford Book Club's annual nature walk. Within the hour, forty volunteers, three golden retrievers, and one extremely enthusiastic man in a headlamp had gathered at the community center to bring Dale home.

That extremely enthusiastic man, it would later emerge, was Dale.

"I saw a crowd, a folding table, and free coffee," Dale explained afterward. "Someone handed me a clipboard and said we were looking for a guy in a green jacket. I looked down and thought, huh, green jacket. Popular color this season."

According to our completely fictional timeline, Dale had wandered off the trail to photograph a mushroom that looked "exactly like a tiny umbrella for a frog." By the time he returned, the book club had counted heads, come up one short, and panicked at a volume normally reserved for spoilers.

Dale was quickly promoted to leader of Search Sector C, a role he embraced with remarkable passion. Witnesses report he marched into the woods bellowing, "DALE! Come on, buddy! We just want you home!" with genuine emotion in his voice.

"Honestly, he was shouting louder than anyone," said organizer Marjorie Fenwhistle. "I've never seen someone care so deeply about Dale. I remember thinking, whoever this Dale is, he's lucky to have a friend like that."

Dale also provided valuable tips. "Knowing Dale, he probably stopped to look at a weird mushroom," he told his team. They soon found the very mushroom, along with a fresh set of footprints that matched Dale's boots perfectly. Dale called it "a really strong lead."

The breakthrough came at 9:47 p.m., when Marjorie read the official description aloud: "Five foot ten, bushy mustache, tends to hum show tunes when nervous." Forty heads slowly turned toward Dale, who was mid-chorus.

There was a long pause. One of the golden retrievers sat down, clearly done with the whole situation.

"In my defense," Dale said, "I did find him."

In a heartwarming twist, the town council has decided to honor Dale twice at next month's ceremony, as both Volunteer of the Year and Missing Person of the Year. He has reportedly prepared two acceptance speeches and plans to thank himself in each.

Search-and-rescue experts, who are also fictional, offer this advice for future volunteers:

1. Before searching for someone, briefly check that it is not you.
2. If the missing person's description sounds like a mirror, trust the mirror.
3. If you are shouting your own name in the woods, pause and reflect, ideally out loud.

As for Dale, he says the experience taught him something valuable. "Sometimes you go out looking for answers," he said thoughtfully, "and the answer was holding the clipboard the whole time."

The book club has since added a new rule: everyone wears a name tag. Dale's says HELLO, I AM NOT LOST.

Inspired by So slick he helped look for himself..