Jokes

Aviation Vulture

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

The Tortilla Test

True: If you don't eat a whole basket of tortilla chips before your entree arrives in a Mexican restaurant

The Raking Incident

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

Explosive News

Ever since the news came out about Samsung...

The Irony of eBay

I bought an 'Irony Detector' off of eBay, but it was broken.

The Feline Solution

[commercial] [man comes home after long day, opens front door and is attacked by 8 cats] MAN: There has to be a better way!

The Puzzle Master

Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?

Currency Weight

I feel quite light today.

Why did the chicken hold a seance?

Online Shopping Struggles

The Tiny Detective

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

The Culinary Alarm

I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working.

The Lip Service

Why is Chapstick so popular?

Voicemail Victories

Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail

Banking on Democracy

so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change.

The Narrator's Paradox

Me narrating a documentary about narrators

The Family Dinner Dilemma

I do not need to have a threesome...

Fighting Fit

My doctor had to put me on a new medication

Psychic Slices

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?