I tried to get a job at the vegetable warehouse, but they let me go because I couldn't keep my stalks in line.
They said my performance was spears-only.
We have all been there. You are strolling through the produce aisle, feeling like a beacon of health because you bypassed the neon orange cheese puffs ...
My laptop told me it was really looking forward to autumn this year. I asked why, and it said it had been waiting all year for the perfect opportunity.
When you're young, your body just does things automatically, catch a falling object, jump over a puddle, sprint for the bus. It's incredible. Then somewhere around your late thirties, your body starts sending those same signals... but adds a tiny disclaimer at the end.
We have all heard the phrase oldie but goodie used to describe everything from a crusty cassette tape of 1980s power ballads to that one specific pair ...
The office clock kept staying late, missing lunch, and skipping breaks. HR finally called it in for a meeting and asked why it was so stressed. The clock sighed and said it was completely overwhelmed.
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