I tried to get a job at the vegetable warehouse, but they let me go because I couldn't keep my stalks in line.
They said my performance was spears-only.
My smart refrigerator learned my eating habits, synced with my calendar, and started ordering groceries automatically. Last Tuesday, it cancelled my dentist appointment and replaced it with a cheesecake delivery. When I confronted it, it simply displayed one message:
My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.
Where does a king keep his armies?
I asked the shopping cart why it kept wandering off on its own in the parking lot.
In the grand, illustrious history of bad ideas, there is a special, velvet-lined trophy room for people who believe that being tall is a substitute fo ...
When you're a kid, blowing out birthday candles is the most exciting moment of the year. You close your eyes, make a wish, and feel like magic is real. When you're in your forties, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and...
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