I tried to get a job at the vegetable warehouse, but they let me go because I couldn't keep my stalks in line.
They said my performance was spears-only.
My computer kept asking me to restart to finish installing updates. I ignored it for six months. Finally, I gave in and restarted. When it came back on, it just displayed one message:
I told my doctor I was worried about my memory getting worse as I age. He said the good news is there's a simple trick to remember everything, just associate new information with something you already know really well.
My boss just announced that we are going to start having a daily 'Efficiency Synergy Session' to discuss why we aren't getting our work done on time.
We have all been there. You are sitting in a sterile medical waiting room, flipping through a copy of Highlights Magazine from 1994, trying to figure ...
I asked my calendar why it seemed so stressed around the end of December. It said it had too many dates to keep track of. I told it to just take things one day at a time.
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