LaughParty
Member since February 2026
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Posts by LaughParty
A Very Brief Career Change
My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.
The Cart's Emotional Baggage
I asked the shopping cart why it kept wandering off on its own in the parking lot.
Local Man Discovers Being 6 Foot 5 Does Not Make His Racism Any Shorter or Less Stupid
In the grand, illustrious history of bad ideas, there is a special, velvet-lined trophy room for people who believe that being tall is a substitute for having a functional personality. Last week, outside a local pub that smells faintly of spilled cider and broken dreams, a particularly vertically gifted gentleman decided to test the theory that a racist t…
The Cruelest Birthday Candles
When you're a kid, blowing out birthday candles is the most exciting moment of the year. You close your eyes, make a wish, and feel like magic is real. When you're in your forties, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and...
Apple Review: I Just Bit into a Crisp Red Sphere of Wet Sawdust and Sadness
We have all been there. You are strolling through the produce aisle, feeling like a beacon of health because you bypassed the neon orange cheese puffs, and you spot them: the apples. They are glistening under those grocery store misting machines like they are posing for a fitness magazine. You pick one up, envisioning a crisp, refreshing snack that will s…
The Laptop's Favorite Season
My laptop told me it was really looking forward to autumn this year. I asked why, and it said it had been waiting all year for the perfect opportunity.
Timeline Trivia
Put your past in order.
Arrange five historical events from earliest to latest.
Play Timeline Trivia
10 Signs Your Oldie But Goodie Is Actually Just Hazardous Waste
We have all heard the phrase oldie but goodie used to describe everything from a crusty cassette tape of 1980s power ballads to that one specific pair of sweatpants you refuse to throw away despite the fact that they are now held together entirely by hope and static electricity. However, there is a fine line between a timeless classic and something that b…
Four In a Row
Drop a disc. Plot a victory.
Connect four before the AI spots your winning move.
Play Four In a Row
Move Over Espresso: Why Stubbing Your Toe Is the New Ultimate Morning Caffeine Hack
Forget the roasted beans, the artisanal froth, and the overpriced cardboard sleeves that somehow always burn your thumb. According to the latest findings in the world of frantic productivity, coffee is officially dead. The new king of the morning routine is much cheaper, significantly faster, and requires absolutely zero sugar: it is pure, unadulterated p…
The Keyboard's Midlife Crisis
My keyboard told me it was tired of being taken for granted and needed some space.
Local Bride Devastated to Discover Husband is a Monotesticular Mystery
Marriage is a journey of discovery. Usually, that discovery involves finding out your spouse leaves wet towels on the bed like a soggy decorative pillow or that they have a family secret involving a haunted doll collection. However, for one local bride, the post-wedding revelation was a bit more structural in nature. After the cake was cut and the champag…
The Principal's Big Announcement
My son came home from school and said his principal called him into the office to tell him he would not have a very bright future ahead of him.
The Smartest Kid in Class
My son told me he finished all his homework in record time and his teacher said he was 'outstanding.' I asked him what subject it was.
The Giraffe's Big Complaint
I asked a giraffe if he ever gets tired of being so tall. He said, 'Honestly, the height doesn't bother me at all.'
