Puns

36 posts tagged

The Cloud's Identity Crisis

I asked the meteorologist why he seemed so emotionally distant lately. He said he'd been going through a lot.

The Psychic With A Weight Problem

What do you call an obese psychic?

Kayaking Where You Least Expect It

I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today...

The Pasta's Big Confession

Why did the spaghetti refuse to go to the party?

The Alarm Clock's Bold Request

Knock, knock! Who's there? Snooze. Snooze who?

The Smoke Alarm's Rave Review

Knock knock. Who's there? Dinner. Dinner who?

The Notification Nobody Wanted

Knock knock. Who's there? Wifi. Wifi who?

The Forecast Nobody Asked For

Knock knock. Who's there? Hail. Hail who?

The Aspiring Ornithologist

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toucan. Toucan who?

The Antique Enthusiast

My friend asked me if I felt like I was getting older, so I told him I’m starting to feel like a rare, historical artifact.

The Overachieving Amphibian

Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

A High-Pressure Encounter

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isobar.

A Relationship with High Standards

My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.

The Level-Headed Relationship

My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

The Defensive Lineman's Dilemma

Knock knock. Who’s there? Intercept. Intercept who?

The Spreadsheet Escape Artist

Why did the overworked accountant suddenly decide to hide inside his own Excel document?

The Competitive Vegetable Garden

The local fencing club had to disband after the coach realized they weren't actually training athletes...

The Memory Foam Betrayal

My wife asked me why I've started spending so much money on expensive memory foam pillows and high-tech orthopaedic mattresses lately.

The Math Book Problems

Why was the math book sad?

The Clock Appetite

Why did the clock go back for seconds?

The Atom Trust Issue

Why should you never trust atoms?