Puns

27 posts tagged

The Antique Enthusiast

My friend asked me if I felt like I was getting older, so I told him I’m starting to feel like a rare, historical artifact.

The Overachieving Amphibian

Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

A High-Pressure Encounter

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isobar.

A Relationship with High Standards

My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.

The Level-Headed Relationship

My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

The Defensive Lineman's Dilemma

Knock knock. Who’s there? Intercept. Intercept who?

The Spreadsheet Escape Artist

Why did the overworked accountant suddenly decide to hide inside his own Excel document?

The Competitive Vegetable Garden

The local fencing club had to disband after the coach realized they weren't actually training athletes...

The Memory Foam Betrayal

My wife asked me why I've started spending so much money on expensive memory foam pillows and high-tech orthopaedic mattresses lately.

The Math Book Problems

Why was the math book sad?

The Clock Appetite

Why did the clock go back for seconds?

The Atom Trust Issue

Why should you never trust atoms?

A Chilly Diagnosis

I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the arctic...

The Skeleton Bar

Why did the skeleton not go to the party?

The Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

The Ocean Conversation

What did the ocean say to the beach?

The Cheese Factory Tour

I went on a tour of a cheese factory last week.

The Broken Pencil

I was going to tell you a joke about a broken pencil.

The Claustrophobic Astronaut

Why did the claustrophobic astronaut quit NASA?

The Bicycle Mystery

Why could nobody find the bicycle?

The Scarecrow Award

Why did the scarecrow win an award?