Jokes
All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!
2,119 posts
The Man Upstairs
Me: "If only the man upstairs could have blessed you with brains as well as beauty." Wife: "Why the hell is there a man upstairs?"
Brow-Raising Advice
Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting.
The Pocket Paradox
I'm never more irritated by fashion than when I'm trying to stuff something in a pocket.
"It's not a colonoscopy, it's a colonoscpportunity!"
gastroenterologist who is also a motivational speaker
The Literal Recipe
When life hands you 2 Lemons 1 cup sugar 2 tbsp flour 3 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup water 2 tbsp butter 4 eggs 1 pie crust
We don't serve time travellers here
We don't serve time travellers here said the bartender. A time traveller walks into a bar.
The Weather App's Honest Review
I asked my weather app how accurate it was. It said, 'We're right about 50% of the time.' I said, 'That's terrible!' It said, 'Yeah, but that's still better than your uncle who checks the sky and says, '
