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The Jedi Locksmith

My front door was locked so I tried to force it open.

The Bluetooth Connection Struggle

My wireless headphones are so loyal that they refuse to connect to my phone while I’m holding it, yet they have no problem pairing with my neighbor’s smart fridge three houses away.

The Passing Neutrino

A neutrino walks into a bar...

Drummer Logic

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The Tennis Player's Big Mistake

Why did the tennis player get in trouble with his bank?

Literary Spirits

What do you get when you mix 9th grade literature with alcohol?

Ding Dong

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Bake cake

Don't cut it into pieces. Eat the whole thing.

Soviet Reunion

What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years?

The Spiritual Snack

What did the Dalai Lama say to the guy in the kebab shop?

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Emergency Services

911? Yes I need to report an incident. What is it mam? THIS. GIRL. IS. ON. FIRE!

Academic Anxiety

I had the dream again,

Hindsight

Where do you see yourself in five years?

A Tail of Retail

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

Muffins

So there are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other, 'Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?'

The Volunteer Assistant

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake?

A Sick Country

What country is ill?

Chemical Comedy

Want to hear a joke about potassium?

The Car Wash Curse

Pays $20 for deluxe car wash.