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Competitive Spirit

This isn't a competition!

Monday's Surprising Motivation

My son asked me why I always seem so energetic on Monday mornings. I told him it's because I spend all weekend recharging.

New Year, New Caterpillar

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?

Target Practice

I tried to walk into Target...

Social Commentary

Inside jokes are...

Skeleton Geography

Where does sans live?

The Transit Interview

How do you think bus driver interviews go?

I gave him the what for!

What for?

Office Literature

Coworker: What book you reading there? Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one.

Academic Lawn Care

If God wanted me to mow my own lawn,

Ocular Observations

What did one eye say to the other?

Stone Age Geography

Apparently, people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones...

The Berry Bad Diet

I'm quitting the blueberry only diet.

Social Strategy

I get out of awkward dinner party convos

Adelia

Knock Knock Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ?

Dollar Store Economics

I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store.

A Delicious Discovery

Why do I like sweet potatoes?

The Dark Knight's Hygiene

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

The Dairy Thief

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Automotive Poultry

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Bond's Disguise

What does Sean Connery wear to avoid the paparazzi?