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3,955 posts

Rising Expectations

Is the bakery hiring?

Purse-onal Inventory

My wife just cleaned out her purse.

Parenting Discovery

My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot.

Customer Service Couture

Your call is important to us. Like, super important.

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Oar Aisle

Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: ... Employee: ...

Modern Final Moments

He died doing what he loved,

Forecast: Resignation

NEWS ANCHOR: Here's Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report.

Quantum Bar Hopping

Schrodingers cat walks into a bar

Complimentary Parking

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

Dental Clubbing

My dentist told me I grind at night.

The Workout Excuse

Made plans to exercise with a friend.

A Buttery Bird

What bird tastes just like butter?

Yous shall not pass!

Yous shall not pass!

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Pacman

Pacman gameplay preview

Dots for dinner. Ghosts for drama.

Clear the maze and grab power pellets to turn the tables.

Play Pacman

Absolute Zero

If you cool your body down to -273,16 degrees celsius...

The Mile-High Criticism

Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes.

Snack-Time Slugger

Baseball is my favorite sport,

Jaws

What do you call a man with no body and a nose?

Disappointing Happy Meal

Why was the alligator sad?

Deep Sea Computing

I dropped my laptop in the ocean.

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