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The Cat Lady Reservation

Hello, I'd like a reservation for two. Also, what is your policy on cats?

Friday Night Fashion

On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be

The Language Barrier

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Unfortunately, the beer doesn't understand English commands.

Spooky Shenanigans

Did you hear the one about the 2 gay ghosts?

Doctor's Visit

I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said "Can u describe the symptoms?"

Goatlike Reflexes

I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES "Don't you mean catlike-"

Philosophical Stance

Always stand up for what you believe in,

The Secret Ingredient

People find one band-aid and suddenly no one wants anymore of my homemade salsa.

Socially Awkward

Coworker: Are you seeing anyone? Me: Unfortunately. CW: Then why are you dating her?

Stationery Royalty

Who is the king of the pencil case?

Penguin Pranks

What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The Party Guest

Should I bring anything to your party?

Santa's Sharp Ears

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears!

Bubble Trouble

What do you call a bugle inside of a bubble?

A Bug's Life of Crime

While escaping from the police, what did one bug say to the other?

A New Definition

I came up with a new word that means taking someone else's work and passing it off as my own.

Hoops and Poultry

Why do NBA players like poultry?

Field Report

Let's check in with Ted our correspondent in the field.

Retail Fatigue

Once you've seen one shopping centre...

The Promotion Nobody Wanted

My boss told me I had a lot of potential and that he could really see me going places. I got so excited, I thought I was finally getting that big promotion I'd been working toward for years.