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A Roman Obsession

I for one...

Calendar Chaos

I went to a fancy dress party as a calendar

Titanic Salad

What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?

Apathetic Intuition

What do you call a psychic who simply doesn't care?

Boy becomes Jedi

gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks.

Family Negotiations

[5-year-old and 3-year-old scream at each other] Me: Is that how your mom and I settle arguments?

Developing Life

Life is like photography,

A Stolen Commode

The toilet bowl was stolen from the local police precinct last night.

Space Aggression

I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns.

The Tiny Entrepreneur

My 4yr old daughter just charged me $47 for a fake cake she cooked in her pretend oven. I laughed.

Small but Mighty

If you think you are too small to be effective,

The Fantasy Breed

What do you call an orc's wolf with particularly short legs?

The Expensive Bar Tab

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

Salon Struggles

Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me:

Prince Charming

I will awaken her with love's sweet ki--

The Pessimist's Silver Lining

The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised

Steve the Grasshopper

A grasshopper sits at the bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

Playground Snacks

What do kids like to eat in the playground?

Career Advice

Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life

Canada Abolished the Penny

When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...