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The Job Interview
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Me: "Celebrating the five-year anniversary of you asking me this question."
The Eavesdropper
I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
The Parallel Parking Expert
My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that is what she said.
The Quicksand Advantage
If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win?
The Bedtime Routine
Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed,
