Science
7 posts tagged
Local Dad Declares Lettuce 'Iceberg' Means Freezer, Calls It Science
A household was thrown into chaos this week when a father who has not knowingly eaten a vegetable since the Clinton administration discovered a head of lettuce in the fridge and made an executive decision: it belonged in the freezer. His reasoning, delivered with the calm of a man who has never lost an argument in his own mind, was simple. "It's iceberg l…
Area Man Refuses to Blink During Tar Drop Livestream, Now on Day Four
A LaughParty comic take. Comic fiction: everything below is invented for laughs. No real scientists, viewers or eyeballs were harmed. In the fictional town of Dripton, the Institute for Extremely Patient Science has launched what it calls the most intense livestream in human history: a single blob of tar, hanging from a funnel, thinking about falling. The…
Science Reaches Breakthrough Discovery That Everything You Love Is Slowly Killing You
Science used to be cool. We used to get the moon landing, neon-colored Gatorade, and those little dinosaur sponges that grow in water. But lately, science has transitioned into that annoying roommate who reminds you that you haven't washed your bedsheets since the Obama administration. It has become a relentless buzzkill designed specifically to ruin ever…
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