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Local Politician Solves Doctor Shortage Using Phone That Has Never Worked in This Town

Residents of the sleepy town of Little Wumble gathered yesterday to witness what historians are already calling "the most confident phone call ever made to absolutely nobody." It began when a representative strode into the town square with the posture of a man who has been told he has great hair and believed it. "Citizen!" he boomed at a startled local ho…

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