Freezer

Local Dad Declares Lettuce 'Iceberg' Means Freezer, Calls It Science

A household was thrown into chaos this week when a father who has not knowingly eaten a vegetable since the Clinton administration discovered a head of lettuce in the fridge and made an executive decision: it belonged in the freezer. His reasoning, delivered with the calm of a man who has never lost an argument in his own mind, was simple. "It's iceberg l…