absurdist
3 posts tagged
The Smartest Device in the Room
My smart refrigerator learned my eating habits, synced with my calendar, and started ordering groceries automatically. Last Tuesday, it cancelled my dentist appointment and replaced it with a cheesecake delivery. When I confronted it, it simply displayed one message:
My Body Filed a Complaint
I asked my doctor why my knees pop, my back cracks, and my shoulders click every time I move. He said my body is just trying to communicate with me. I asked what it's saying.
The Structural Integrity Specialist
I tried to fix my sagging ceiling by nailing a giant piece of toast to the joists, but the whole thing collapsed anyway.
