The Defensive Eater
The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating,
I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating,
I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
My laptop told me it was really looking forward to autumn this year. I asked why, and it said it had been waiting all year for the perfect opportunity.
When you're young, your body just does things automatically, catch a falling object, jump over a puddle, sprint for the bus. It's incredible. Then somewhere around your late thirties, your body starts sending those same signals... but adds a tiny disclaimer at the end.
The office clock kept staying late, missing lunch, and skipping breaks. HR finally called it in for a meeting and asked why it was so stressed. The clock sighed and said it was completely overwhelmed.
What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?
Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off*
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