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The Bread Clip Is the Only Thing Holding This Kitchen Together

We have a drawer full of bread clips and not one working relationship with a bread bag.

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My Step Counter Counts Folding Laundry as Cardio

My watch congratulated me for a brisk workout.

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Every Shopping Cart Has One Wheel With Other Plans

I chose the cart carefully, like I was adopting it.

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The Goldfish Gives Tours of the Same Castle

My goldfish swims past the little plastic castle every few seconds with the wide-eyed joy of a first-time visitor.

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A Quick Sync Has Never Been Quick or Synced

My calendar invite said, 'Quick sync, 15 minutes.'

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The Candle Called Fresh Linen Has Never Met Linen

I lit a candle labeled 'Clean Cotton Morning' and waited for peace and calm.

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