If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors,
every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad.
My neighbor bought a high-tech garden gnome equipped with AI and motion sensors to keep the rabbits away. I asked him how it was working out, and he looked absolutely exhausted.
My new smart doorbell is so advanced that it sends a high-definition video alert to my phone every time a leaf blows across the porch, yet it somehow lacks the basic logic to realize I’m the one standing there in my underwear at 3:00 AM because I locked myself out.
I posted a photo of my lunch and got zero likes, so I deleted it immediately.
When Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a lightning storm to prove electricity existed, he wasn't just being a visionary scientist; he was actually trying to invent the world's first wireless phone charger so he could stop missing dinner invites.
My computer kept asking me to restart to finish installing updates. I ignored it for six months. Finally, I gave in and restarted. When it came back on, it just displayed one message:
I told my doctor I was worried about my memory getting worse as I age. He said the good news is there's a simple trick to remember everything, just associate new information with something you already know really well.
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