The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it
when your kid stops taking care of it.
When you're young, your body just does things automatically, catch a falling object, jump over a puddle, sprint for the bus. It's incredible. Then somewhere around your late thirties, your body starts sending those same signals... but adds a tiny disclaimer at the end.
The office clock kept staying late, missing lunch, and skipping breaks. HR finally called it in for a meeting and asked why it was so stressed. The clock sighed and said it was completely overwhelmed.
My keyboard told me it was tired of being taken for granted and needed some space.
My son came home from school and said his principal called him into the office to tell him he would not have a very bright future ahead of him.
My son told me he finished all his homework in record time and his teacher said he was 'outstanding.' I asked him what subject it was.
I asked a giraffe if he ever gets tired of being so tall. He said, 'Honestly, the height doesn't bother me at all.'
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