Cat-astrophic Morning
woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up.
today is going to be magical.
woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up.
today is going to be magical.
I tried to fix my sagging ceiling by nailing a giant piece of toast to the joists, but the whole thing collapsed anyway.
My friend asked me if I felt like I was getting older, so I told him I’m starting to feel like a rare, historical artifact.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Passive voice. Passive voice who?
My smartphone is so incredibly advanced that it can translate ancient Greek in real-time and map the entire observable universe. Yet, the moment I walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water, it loses the Wi-Fi signal and acts like we've traveled back to 1994.
Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long?
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