Jokes
All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!
663 posts
You Spelled What?
What is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary.
A Difference in Definitions
A lawyer and an engineer are arguing at a bar about who has the more honest profession.
A Rare Canine Intellect
I’ve been training my dog to do high-level calculus, but I think he’s struggling with the concept of 'infinity'.
A Relationship with High Standards
My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.
The Smart Home Relationship Intervention
My girlfriend and I finally moved into a high-tech 'smart home,' but after our first minor argument, the house clearly took her side. I knew I was in trouble when I asked the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it replied, 'I think you know what you did.'
The Level-Headed Relationship
My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.
The Laundry Signal
Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
The Stationary Bike Commute
I’ve been training on a stationary bike for three hours every morning to prepare for my new job, but I’m starting to think the HR department lied to me.
The Mona Lisa Date
[first date] Me: *don't let him know you're the Mona Lisa* Him: You look nice tonight
Block Fires Half Its Humans After Realizing Robots Don't Need Mental Health Days or Artisanal Coffee
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow, metallic takeover of our society, Block, the company formerly kn ...
The Doctor's Leg
Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No. Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah.
