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Dadaist Decor

How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Heavyweight Queue

What do you call a queue of boxers?

Llama Zen

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

The Favorite Child

WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter. ME:

Biblical Business

Setting up a Moses business would be simple except for one setback...

Success Redefined

The secret to my success

A Heroic Pun

Green Lantern

The Universal Possession

What is it that is yours, but others use it more than you?

The Courtroom Mix-up

Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths 'not guilty'] Me: hot milky

Stubborn Steeds

Horses are very contrarian...

Geometry Problems

Parallel lines have so much in common.

For the Record

I bought some vinyl cleaner,

The Picky Eater

I love puppies and kittens and little cute hamsters. But not all together.

The Missing Mood

They took my mood ring...

Great Minds Moo Alike

Two cows are in a pasture. The first cow says, "Moo."

Playground Poultry

Why did the Chicken cross the playground?

Chernobyl Counting

I can count on one hand the number of times I've visited Chernobyl.

Let Freedom Ring

Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes. Do I never pick up phone calls on it?

The Golfer's Wardrobe Malfunction

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Budget Theme Park

I can't afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street.

Feline Foul Play

Why do felines always win board games?