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Unimpressed Dairy

What did the unimpressed cheese say?

Prehistoric Fender Bender

What did the dinosaur say after the car crash?

The Nutritionist's Loophole

My nutritionist said that instead of eating three big cheeseburgers,

The Digital Disappointment

Looked up from my phone for a few minutes.

The Pirate's Milestone

What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday?

The Zen Hotdog

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

The Frozen Vintage

Husband: are you cooking something? Me: of course not. Husband: the oven timer just went off.

Academic Overachievers

Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand...

Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor!

My son John swallowed the can opener!

Cheesy Humor

Wanna hear a joke about Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?

Financial Philosophy

Whats the problem with tainted money?

Double Trouble

What do you call twin kittens?

The Gum Solution

This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that "it stays in your system forever,"

The Tech Singer

What's the name of a computer that turned into a singer?

Snowman Sniffing

Two snowmen in a field, one turns to the other and says...

A Numeric Tragedy

Why did the number 6 cry?

Market Volatility

I lost 40 Pounds in 4 months!!

The Flintstone Difference

What is the difference between the people in Dubai & the people in Abu Dhabi?

Icebreaker

So anyone know how much a Polar Bear weighs?

[March 15]

Brutus: Going 2 the senate? Caesar: yeah u? Brutus: yep it'll be killer Caesar: how so?

A Grilling Mistake

ME: hey baby. HOT GIRL: ... ME: ... HOT GIRL: ... ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME: