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Aging Gracefully

I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now.

A Little Hoarse

Sarah Jessica Parker's kid cannot start kindergarten today with all the other children due to a medical condition,

Future Problems

The problem with traveling into the future is that it's hard to determine the date

A Ticking Appetite

Have you ever eaten a clock?

Cinematic Spoilers

I just watched Fast and Furious the other day,

The Panther's Agenda

The Pink Panther's To Do list:

The Social Media Grudge

"Well well well, if it isn't the person who didn't like my Instagram photo"

The Honest Liar

Never underestimate the value of stretching...

A Timely Observation

Hands down half 6 is my favourite time of day.

Rhino Breakfast

How do rhinos like their eggs?

The Original Joke

I invented a new joke today!

Visionary Breakup

I just broke up with my blind girlfriend.

A Heavy Realization

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger.

Outstanding Debt

Bank: 'Miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding.'

Personal Space Invader

According to my neighbor's journal,

Musical Intervention

You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing?

Musical Hardware

What do you call a computer that can sing really well?

Geometric Geometry

If you made a triangle with sticks...

Ambidextrous Ambivalence

I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous.

Welcome to the Jungle

My career as a Walmart greeter was cut short when the manager noticed me singing "Welcome to the Jungle" to every customer.

A Bloody Good Pun

Most animals don't like gore.