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Two Left Paws

Why are dogs bad at dancing?

The Discerning Sheep

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

Celebrity Status

The new fun way to tell if a celebrity is crazy

The Password Requirements

My bank asked me to create a password with at least 8 characters, one uppercase, one lowercase, a number, a special character, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a unicorn.

A Mushroom Walks Into A Bar

A mushroom walks into a bar The bartender says: "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind here."

The Stick Shift Redux

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

The Ice Cream Incident

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

A Frighteningly Bossy Encounter

What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?

The Raining Champion

I met a guy recently who was a really good runner, but could only win races in wet weather.

The Economic Yo Mama

Yo mama so lazy

A Colorful Mystery

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Canned Commuters

What did the sardine call the submarine?

The Cheese Factory Tour

I went on a tour of a cheese factory last week.

A Sudden Realization

Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Tattoo Regret Perspective

Whenever I have a bad day,

Financial Advice

Have you ever seen those "Give a penny, take a penny" things at convenience stores???

The Dapper Detective

What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat?

A Smooth Operator

I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator.

The Stationary Swing

Describing a chair:

The Dictionary Thief

Someone stole my thesaurus. I have no words for how angry I am.

A Noodle Prayer

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat.