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The Bathroom Sonic Boom

I guess we should make them sound like a space shuttle is taking off during an a-bomb explosion.

Student Loans

I'm not in favour of student loans.

The Lucky Hire

I am a hiring manager. Before I take a look at all the resumes, I throw the entire top half away.

The Wrong Juan

I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said...

Refracted Behavior

Where do naughty rays of light go?

A Smoky Sonata

What do you call a piano composer that smokes?

Vocabulary Struggles

HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems. *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable.

Chemical Reaction

I was going to tell a joke about sodium...

Dental Benefits

Looking for a friend with benefits.

No Bull

Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly: "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," replies Dolly.

The Classic Crossing

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cookie Confessions

You're the only one who understands me,

The Identity Crisis

The 'M' in 'MTV'

The Wooden Wonder

Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis?

The Coin Swallowing Scale

Kid 1 swallows coin= rush to ER. Kid 2 swallows coin= wait til it passes.

Geographic Humor

Where is Macau located?

Police Console

What's a police officers favorite console?

Binary Confusion

There are 10 kinds of people...

The Blonde Waitress

Customer: Can I have some coffee without cream please?

The Irony of Finance

I've written a book called, 'How Not To Get Conned Out Of Your Money'.

The Ink-redible Heist

Breaking News: PIRATES STOPPED STEALING OIL TANKERS