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A Fishy Romance

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

The Metric Cult

Who does the Metric Cult worship?

Safety First

A horse walks into the bar

The Morning After

I'd do anything to never be hungover again.

The Barista Bandit

Cop: "Can you describe the person who robbed you?"

Drummer's Dilemma

Why was the band late to their gig?

The Desert Mirage

I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided.

The Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

A Boring Encounter

One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked.

Cosmic Spud

What do you call a potato in space?

Supernatural Debt

If you don't pay your exorcist,

House Rules

At my house, it is customary for you

The Social Media Purge

I'm never more ruthless than when deciding who to wish a happy birthday to on Facebook

A Sticky Situation

Waiter is there soup on the menu?

Furniture Logic

A boycott is just a smaller version of a manbed.

A Fruitful Union

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Sea Monster Lunch

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

The Breakfast Nap

Everyone needs a three hour nap

The Procrastinator Club

I joined a procrastinator support group.

Snowman Snacking

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Entrepreneurial Spirit

Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary