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The Chicken Dinner

ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick.

Golfing with Pachyderms

How Do You Get an Elephant Out of the Fairway?

Pajama Safari

I once shot a deer in my pajamas...

A Fragrant Fact

What smells better than it taste?

Hand Dryer Dilemma

Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?

Morning Priorities

Nothing screams "I don't care about being on time for work" like...

Matchbox Comedy

Why is it fun to play with matches?

Historical Artifacts

Found newspaper from day my son was born. Originally saved so he could see news of that day.

The Tuna Taxonomy

Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna?

Killer Comedy

I've got a friend who's a psychopath and he's got a brilliant sense of humour.

Mechanical Fashion

Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic?

Bread and Butter

Butter must be southern

Artistic Transportation

A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize

The Pharmacist's Date

[First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist. Her: Can you pass the salt?

A Dyslexic Dinner

I once dated a dyslexic woman.

Calendar Crush

Are you today's date?

Landline Trauma

I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation

Snowy Communication

The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow...

The Missing Shower

Did you take a shower today?

The Wooden Car

Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors?

Seashell Boredom

May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean