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Local Dog Reacts to Soldier Returning Home Like He Just Witnessed a Middle School Magic Trick

We have all seen those heartwarming videos where a soldier returns home from a long deployment and their dog absolutely loses its mind. The canine usu ...

A Relationship with High Standards

My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.

The Smart Home Relationship Intervention

My girlfriend and I finally moved into a high-tech 'smart home,' but after our first minor argument, the house clearly took her side. I knew I was in trouble when I asked the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it replied, 'I think you know what you did.'

The Level-Headed Relationship

My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

Illinois Finally Tackles the Big Issues by Naming the Italian Beef the Official State Sandwich

In a world where politicians usually spend their time arguing about budgets, infrastructure, or whose turn it is to buy the office donuts, the Illinoi ...

The Stationary Bike Commute

I’ve been training on a stationary bike for three hours every morning to prepare for my new job, but I’m starting to think the HR department lied to me.

LAPD Officer Proves Disability Leave Is No Obstacle to Jumping Out of a Plane

We have all been there. You wake up with a "crick" in your neck so severe that the mere thought of sitting at a desk feels like a human rights violati ...

The Load-Bearing Knock

Knock knock.

New Study Confirms Your Great-Great-Grandmother Had a Major Thing for Neanderthals

It turns out that your family tree might be a little more "heavy browed" than you previously suspected. A new scientific study suggests that when it c ...

The Defensive Lineman's Dilemma

Knock knock. Who’s there? Intercept. Intercept who?

Block Fires Half Its Humans After Realizing Robots Don't Need Mental Health Days or Artisanal Coffee

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow, metallic takeover of our society, Block, the company formerly kn ...

The Sourdough Starter Intervention

My wife asked why I was whispering while making dinner, and I told her the yeast was resting and I didn't want to wake it up. She rolled her eyes and said I was taking the 'artisanal bread' hobby too far.

East India Company Fails for Second Time in 400 Years Proving Not Even Global Tyranny Can Survive the Economy

It takes a special kind of talent to fail at the same job twice, especially when those failures are separated by a cool 167 years. The East India Comp ...