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3,242 posts

Good morning class

Teacher: What is science? Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science?

Automotive Poultry

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

The Keyboard's Midlife Crisis

My keyboard told me it was tired of being taken for granted and needed some space.

Camouflage Thief

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...

Military Dental

So which Gate works at the army?

BISON DAD

BISON DAD: good bye, son.

A jumper cable walks into a bar

The bartender says,

How to make Holy Water

Hey, how do you make Holy Water?

The Perfect Portmanteau

If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau

The Social Strategist

All my party planning skills

Cooling the Fans

At the risk of offending my fans,

Parenting Skills

I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed "take a nap" with "piece of crap"...

The Heat Wave

It was so hot today

A Spicy Demon

What do you call the Japanese demon of spices?

High Quality Brew

What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

Frozen Balloon Trouble

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Seafood Crossing

Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?

Barometer of Quality

You know it's a really good bar when...

The Arctic Ark

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

The Employment Line

I'll do a lot of things for money,

The Honest Husband

A woman asked her husband "what trait of me do you love the most?'' ''My beautiful face? My sexy body?" The husband looked at her from top to bottom, and answered,