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The Engaged Bee

What do you call a bee that gets engaged?

Snake in the Sheets

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

A Nap in Texas

Did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas?

Grammar Bar

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar...

Academic Snoop

*Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory

A Tight Squeeze

In the earliest part of my life I was a man trapped inside a woman's body.

Holy Hygiene

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

The Fresh Prince of Winter

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Lockdown Parenting

Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today,

The Long-Awaited Answer

* Gets out of a 10 year old coma * Me: Where am I?

Feline Socialites

Never understand when someone says, "cats are snobby."

The Worry Wart

Worrying works!

The Meta-Pub

An English man, an Irish man, and a Scots man walk into a pub. They head to the bar

The New York Salmon

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

Dairy Logic

Why did the milking stool only have three legs?

Dadaist Decor

How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Heavyweight Queue

What do you call a queue of boxers?

Llama Zen

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

The Favorite Child

WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter. ME:

Success Redefined

The secret to my success

A Heroic Pun

Green Lantern