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A Visionary Investment

I let a blind man borrow some money the other day.

Health Advice

Doctors recommend that you drink 8 glasses of water a day

Reptilian Detective

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Parenting Assistant

Siri, answer all of my toddler's stupid questions.

Royal Puns

Why was Simba's dad killed by the pride?

Dental Horror

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

A Reflective Career

My friend got a summer job in a mirror factory.

Wood You Be Mine?

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Canadian Courtesy

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Avian Philosophy

YOLO

Geometry Anxiety

What did the afraid triangle say to the circle that was about to beat him up?

Ambience or Ambulance?

[first date] "What's wrong?" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] "You mean ambience"

The Woods Walk

A clown and a child walk into the dark woods. The child looks up at the clown and says "I'm scared."

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?

Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

The Liar's Tell

We can always tell when you are lying.

The Secret Toad

What do you call an amphibian in hiding?

Garden Slumber

I grow herbs in my bed.

The Reasonable Genie

*emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie,

Reservation Frustration

Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot?

10 Men Whose Only Safety Regulation Is The Phrase Because Of Freedom Baby

There is a specific brand of logic that only exists in the glorious, chaotic vacuum of absolute liberty. It is the kind of reasoning that bypasses com ...

Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff

Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff...