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Et Tu, Aluminum?

I cut my finger on a beer can last night.

Yeasty Relations

Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous?

Grammar Angels

I wish instead of Grammar Nazis there were Grammar Angels.

Ski Trip Split

I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip.

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Shot my dog 's'mornin'

Farmer: "Shot my dog 's'mornin'" Friend: "Were he mad?"

Internet Cooking

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

Ho Ho Hold On a Minute

You know you're getting old...

Wrongfully Accused, Technically

I am in prison for something I didn't do.

Numerical Justice

19 and 20 got into a fight...

Gym Class Hero

Jokes about fat people aren't funny.

Russian Fishing

How does a Russian catch fish?

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Space Shooter

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A Cheesy Confession

People really hate my cheesy puns...

The Preemptive Alibi

Every time you enter a room, you should say "Smells like farts in here."

How I Fell Off a Cliff

New book out:

Noodle Anxiety

Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles?

Bugged by Lightbulbs

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Where's Waldo?

[at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant?

The Chuck Norris Special

When Chuck Norris finishes a joke...

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