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3,162 posts

Mathematical Heartbreak

Relationship are like algebra...

Palindrome

Your word is palindrome. Can you use it in a sentence?

Will Will Smith Smith?

Will Will Smith Smith?

The Hula Hound

What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer?

A Grounded Culinary Debate

Which is more stable, a hamburger or a steak?

Babe, is it in?

"Babe, is it in?" *"Yea."* **"Does it hurt?"** *"Uh huh."* **"Let me put it in slowly."** *"It still hurts."*

Barbecue Blues

Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

Amusement Park Logic

Exec 1: So, you wait in long lines. No shade. Crying kids. Drinks cost $7.00. Exec 2: Nice. What do we call it?

School Drop-off Evolution

[First day of dropping kids off at school] *Hugs and crying*

Nun the Wiser

Did you hear about the clever nun who got tricked?

Physics Fails

What did the physicist say when he accidentally broke his resistor?

The Fugitive Psychic

What do you call a midget psychic on the run?

A Self-Reflective Shift

I used to be a narcissist

The Graduation Subscription

Your 12 year free trial has expired.

A Salty Song

Life is life,

A Cinematic Split

So, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split up!

The Magical Commute

A magician was driving down the road when suddenly...

Ketchup Logic

Her: What veggies are the kids having with dinner? Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle)

How long have you been chopping wood for?

How long have you been chopping wood for?

Celebrity Savings

Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.

The Doorbell Defense

If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side.