Tourist

Tourist Spends Entire Italian Vacation Rescuing People From Ham, Wolves and Cats Denied Tripe

Dennis arrived in Italy with a phrasebook, a sun hat the size of a patio umbrella, and the unshakable belief that he was fluent after two weeks of a language app. By lunchtime on day one, he had already prevented three emergencies. None of them were real. It began at a café, when a waiter told a colleague that a customer had "ham slices over his eyes." De…