Jokes on LaughParty

Jokes

All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!

1,187 posts

Romantic Illumination

Why did the lights go out?

Sheepish Crafting

I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater.

A Split Decision

My friend who lost the entire left side of his body just won a prestigious award for his positive attitude and incredible recovery. At the ceremony, they asked him if he ever felt like giving up during the long physical therapy sessions.

The Limping Spirit

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

Renaissance Regrets

I bet if a renaissance artist traveled through time to a modern museum, they'd be like:

Mouse Plane

mouse pilot: hello folks, this is your captain squeaking-

You Spelled What?

What is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary.

The No and Me Neither

Do you know that joke about the no and the me neither?

The Award-Winning Scarecrow

Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize?

Driving Directions

I saw a car with a 'How am I driving?' bumper sticker and called the number.

Ear-ritating Behavior

Why does the corn get mad at the farmer?

A Difference in Definitions

A lawyer and an engineer are arguing at a bar about who has the more honest profession.

A Rare Canine Intellect

I’ve been training my dog to do high-level calculus, but I think he’s struggling with the concept of 'infinity'.

A Jewish girl

asks her father, "Dad? Can I have 50 dollars?"

A Relationship with High Standards

My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.

The Smart Home Relationship Intervention

My girlfriend and I finally moved into a high-tech 'smart home,' but after our first minor argument, the house clearly took her side. I knew I was in trouble when I asked the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it replied, 'I think you know what you did.'

The Level-Headed Relationship

My husband insisted on installing all the new kitchen cabinets by himself, but after six hours of measuring and drilling, every single unit was visibly tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

Oddly Frustrated

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

Extroverted Engineering

How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted engineer?

The Laundry Signal

Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.

The Trashy Pickup Line

You smell like trash.....