Jokes on LaughParty

Jokes

All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!

2,119 posts

Papal Succession

What happens when the Pope dies?

Salad Mishaps

Have you ever eaten a salad,

Programmer Problems

Why do programmers produce more garbage than others?

Secondhand Sales

I hit some kid riding a skateboard today, on the way to work.

Organized Offense

What did the OCD man get thrown in jail for?

Dietary Integrity

They say you are what you eat...

The Ice Cream Escape

4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you...

The Musical Angler

What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing?

The Vitamin Strategy

Wine doesn't have many vitamins.

The Blind Man

"Ah, I see," said the blind man as he spat into the wind.

School Ahead

Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Musical Pressure

Why was Freddie Mercury a great front-man for Queen?

The Stationary Pooch

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Legal Feelings

Lawyers have feelings too..

The Post-Dinner Critique

Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely". Outside: "Well, it was okay". In car: "I mean, it wasn't great".

A Moving Experience

Did you hear about the stationary store?

Blind Spot

3 blondes walk in to a bar

Heavy Deodorant

[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me:

Morning Brew

What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?

The Boss's Dilemma

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

Brain vs Body

Body: I'm sooooooo tired