Jokes
All kinds of jokes - one-liners, puns, dad jokes, and more!
318 posts
The Digital Age Paradox
My smartphone is so incredibly advanced that it can translate ancient Greek in real-time and map the entire observable universe. Yet, the moment I walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water, it loses the Wi-Fi signal and acts like we've traveled back to 1994.
The Unwelcoming Host
An infectious disease enters a bar and the bartender says, 'we don't serve your kind here'.
The Cat Owner's Guide
Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles?
Scientific Undergarments
What brand of underwear do scientists wear?
The High Stakes Laundry Negotiation
My wife asked why I was standing in the laundry room staring intensely at my favorite sweater for ten minutes without moving.
A Terminal Case of Confusion
I hate traveling. My wife asked me to book a flight that was 'truly unforgettable.' I managed to find a ticket with a twelve-hour layover in a tiny airport that only has one vending machine and a broken rocking chair.
A Bird's Day in Court
Where do you find a murder of crows?
A Split Decision
My friend who lost the entire left side of his body just won a prestigious award for his positive attitude and incredible recovery. At the ceremony, they asked him if he ever felt like giving up during the long physical therapy sessions.
You Spelled What?
What is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary.
A Difference in Definitions
A lawyer and an engineer are arguing at a bar about who has the more honest profession.
A Rare Canine Intellect
I’ve been training my dog to do high-level calculus, but I think he’s struggling with the concept of 'infinity'.
A Relationship with High Standards
My wife asked me to stop acting like a flagpole because it was making our relationship feel too rigid and distant.
