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No Whey

My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said,

Quantum Loneliness

I'm like a single electron...

Parisian Currents

I went on a boat trip around Paris,

In-Flight Mischief

Whenever I'm getting off a plane I like to go up to the pilot, lean in really close and whisper

Spelling Bee Blues

Why did the spelling bee champ have to go to rehab?

The West Virginia Deli Dilemma

How can you tell if lunch meat is from West Virginia?

The Conch Conundrum

Me: Can I order the conch fritters please? Waitress: The "ch" is pronounced like a "k". Me: Okay,

Correction Requested

For someone who said "Correct me if I'm wrong..."

Seasonal Friends

It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats

The Hardware Hierarchy

Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle,

Train of Thought

What do you call it when a story has a recurring train theme?

The Pasta's Big Confession

Why did the spaghetti refuse to go to the party?

True Love

I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get

Nap Time

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the elementary school?

Toadally Sweet

What's a toads favourite sweet?

The Accomplice

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Supernatural Hearing

My kids can't hear the dog barking for 15 minutes to come back inside,

A Loafly Obsession

I have a hardcore yeast affection.

The Hipster Bulb

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Genetic Jeans

Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases?

A Poultry Pun

Did you hear about the guy who died after eating chicken?