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A Musical Pest

Did you hear about that new species of mosquito?

A Dietary Restriction

What do you call someone incapable of eating people?

Snowballs

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

The Drummer's Housing Crisis

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Holiday Appetite

Who is never hungry at Christmas?

A Nutty Encounter

Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night.

A Salty Situation

Why is the peanut crying?

Knight Shift

I've just started work as a human chess piece.

Furniture Fables

What do you call lying furniture?

Gridiron Grub

Why are hamburgers essential to football?

The Fountain of Youth

A 13-year-old told me I was cool for an old person and asked if I was 23.

Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger

The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is.

The Streaming Cut

What's the worst cut of steak?

Dental Regrets

4 out of 5 dentists agree...

The Digital Cannibal

Why is the upcoming Windows OS called Windows 10?

Tech Upgrades

All the jokes about iPhone 6S

The Reddit Tax

Why do Redditors pay with exact change?

A boy met a girl

She: Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place. He(smiling): Why thank u.. are u single?

Scientific Football

Why is Man Utd's chemistry lacking?

Biblical Firefighters

Did you know that the three wise men were firemen?

The Snail's Joyride

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?