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3,955 posts

Keep Your Distance

I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole!

Hip-Hop Down Under

What do you call a thug Australian mammal?

Paying in Toddler Time

Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4 days. What's my total?

Service Spirits

TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest?

Vocabularying 101

Use words like 'perpendicular' when you language at people

Linkin Park Breakup

My girlfriend broke up with me, because she hated me singing Linkin Park songs all the time.

Game break · Free to play

Yahtzee

Yahtzee gameplay preview

Let the good rolls roll.

Roll five dice. Pick your holds. Chase a great combo.

Play Yahtzee

Paranormal Phone Call

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?

Aquatic Deity

'I am your God, and now it is night!'

Party of One

[Does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: Having a kid's birthday party?

The Party Equation

Why is F-time so much fun?

Lost for Words

I hate to tell patients that they've become physically mute...

The Bronze Medalist

I've been told I'm not ambitious enough...

Game break · Free to play

Space Shooter

Space Shooter gameplay preview

Your break is cleared for launch.

Dodge enemy waves, grab power-ups and take on bosses.

Play Space Shooter

Airport Economics

Always carry $100,000 cash on you at all times

Buffet Deadline

describes my ideal woman to police sketch artist

Grammar Comfort

What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi?

Mammoth Misunderstanding

Salesman: Roll up roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale.

Roommate Math

My roommate said he gets laid ten times more than me.

Supermodel Standards

I just want a woman who has a great sense of humor...

Scientific Sass

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

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