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The Influencer's Big Following

I told my friend I had 10,000 followers and he was really impressed. He asked if I was famous on Instagram or TikTok.

Indifferent Philosophy

Ignorance or apathy?

Academic Career Paths

What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

I'd like a nice stiff entendre please.

Want me to make it a double?

Nobody Likes This

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it.

The Hemogoblin

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

Fitness Fail

Weighed myself. Did elliptical for 30 minutes. Weighed myself. Half a pound heavier.

The Adult Reality Check

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why.

Summer Abroad

My parents once sent me abroad for the summer

Dairy Dreams

I dream of a world where even lactose is tolerated by everyone.

Microwave Diplomacy

How do you reheat a cold war?

Canine Composer

It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano

The Monday Morning Knock

Knock knock. Who's there? Deadline. Deadline who?

The Aging Process

I'm old.

A Nautical Nuisance

What would you call a person who isn't worthy of being looked at?

Wizardly Habits

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

The Owl's Midnight Interruption

Knock knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who?

The Penguin's Career Advice

I tried to take life lessons from a penguin. They're always dressed for success, they never skip leg day, and they somehow thrive in the coldest conditions. I figured if anyone could teach me how to pull myself together, it was them.

Spicy Misconception

Pepper spray...

Discount Grammar

Teacher: Johnny, please use 'discount' in a sentence. Johnny: