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Poker
Keep your cards. Lose your frown.
Five-card draw, just for fun. Hold, draw and enjoy the hand.
Play PokerThe Backseat Driver
Riding with Uber earlier.. The driver said, "I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."
Weight Loss at the Racetrack
I lost 25 pounds. Just want to say I lost 25 pounds and I'm proud of myself.
I won't dessert you
I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me... please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes. She replied...
Naming Rights
To the guy who named cotton candy: Yes! It looks just like it sounds. To the guy who named Milk Duds:
My dad keeps throwing erasers at me
My dad keeps throwing erasers at me and I finally snapped, "Why dad!"
A Very Brief Career Change
My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.
Laugh Slots
Hit spin. Start grinning.
Ten spins. Match the reels, build a streak, and beat your best score.
Play Laugh Slots
Priorities
[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*
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