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A Light Snack

Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball

Culinary Logic

Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs.

A Flock of Seagulls

A group of guys with ponytails is called...

Anatomical Blasphemy

What do you call a bone that disrespects God?

Jungle Hide and Seek

A jaguar asked an colourful arsehole with a big nose to join him in hide and seek...

The Impossible Order

A solid way to make your waiter's head explode is to order a grilled cheese...

My Son Isn't Mine?

I was very upset when my wife told me our son wasn't mine.

Eight-Armed Envy

What animal do I respect most? The octopus.

The DIY Expert's Confession

I spent all weekend watching tutorial videos, carefully measuring twice, and selecting the perfect tools before tackling my first home improvement project.

Vain Twig

What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?

Stormy Weather

What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane?

Fitness Trail Motivation

We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail,

Calculated Communication

How do deaf mathematicians communicate?

High Stakes Career

What happened to the trapeze artist that did drugs on the job?

Calendar Envy

What the difference between a calender and you?

A Meaty Situation

I've decided to become a raw carnivore...

The Breakfast Paradox

'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.'

The Gaming Mobster

Which mafia boss came with all the dlc?

The Fitness Expert

What do you call a body builder?

The Winwood Wood

How much wood would Steve Winwood win if Steve Winwood could win wood?

The Next R&B Royalty

Who's gonna be the next queen of R&B?